This is not one of the "Enough is Enough" sorts. In fact this is precisely the opposite. I pitched this idea to the only soul,I expected, might understand to a certain extent (if not in its entirety) my brother. I weaved it the best way possible. I started with what it means, what it means to me and how its the most logical cascading conclusion. I confidently finished my theory saying " It's enough, you see now?" Well he didn't. He heard my monologue for 8 minutes without interrupting. I must thank him for that atleast.
His response was very blunt, as if the very purpose of his response was to nip my idea along with its very roots. He declared I was not yogi and that I was far from discovering or arriving at such grave baseless conclusions. He was worried about my thoughts and I decided to rest this before he inquires further.
Two months later, I decided to pitch the idea again and this time after high tones of excitement, so that me broaching the subject doesn't make him anxious and he understands my basis for arriving at the theory. I had a strong feeling he might just get it this time. I was prepared to explain it to him further. I started with the fishes, the coastline and sunshine and tactically led it all to being 'Enough'. He almost saw this coming and there was a 5 second silence. I decided to deflect it for now, but determined to strike again.
After few weeks, I breezed through several of my extreme cynical vicious compensations. I knew this would make him uncomfortable and more importantly concerned. I never had to be insecure about him being judgmental, perks of being siblings I guess, This time he took a pause and confessed that he gets one of them. Still it was not the theory, I was most passionate about and that made me restless.
Its as simple as it gets. Its "all good" and "enough" and we must know when to "stop". Granted its much more toxic, unnerving and convoluted but the bottom line is a one liner. I gave it another shot and he didn't deny. I guess this is as good as it gets.
It needn't always be frustrating, it needn't always be painful. it needn't always taken wrong. Sometimes it can just be knowing when to stop. After seeing "enough" its time to "sleep".
I had Franzen, page 9 on my face and the darkness was comforting. I can't wait to "sleep"!
His response was very blunt, as if the very purpose of his response was to nip my idea along with its very roots. He declared I was not yogi and that I was far from discovering or arriving at such grave baseless conclusions. He was worried about my thoughts and I decided to rest this before he inquires further.
Two months later, I decided to pitch the idea again and this time after high tones of excitement, so that me broaching the subject doesn't make him anxious and he understands my basis for arriving at the theory. I had a strong feeling he might just get it this time. I was prepared to explain it to him further. I started with the fishes, the coastline and sunshine and tactically led it all to being 'Enough'. He almost saw this coming and there was a 5 second silence. I decided to deflect it for now, but determined to strike again.
After few weeks, I breezed through several of my extreme cynical vicious compensations. I knew this would make him uncomfortable and more importantly concerned. I never had to be insecure about him being judgmental, perks of being siblings I guess, This time he took a pause and confessed that he gets one of them. Still it was not the theory, I was most passionate about and that made me restless.
Its as simple as it gets. Its "all good" and "enough" and we must know when to "stop". Granted its much more toxic, unnerving and convoluted but the bottom line is a one liner. I gave it another shot and he didn't deny. I guess this is as good as it gets.
It needn't always be frustrating, it needn't always be painful. it needn't always taken wrong. Sometimes it can just be knowing when to stop. After seeing "enough" its time to "sleep".
I had Franzen, page 9 on my face and the darkness was comforting. I can't wait to "sleep"!
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