Wishful Cuts

Roza emphasized desperately, "such a shame..... such a waste of a good fit!!". Naimmin, in response, quoted a french philosopher, so effortlessly, that one could be convinced of his affiliation with them, "..... and expecting it to fly". It was indeed effortless but held a peculiar conviction, in fact conviction with a hint of sarcasm. She was embarrassed about this conversation but she knew this would yield best results, well, better than her alternatives. While the defeat, hopelessness, and their seeming permanence challenged her mind to concoct something positive, she was confident about her choice to seek help from him, and let his practical negativity reign.

"It's all wishful thinking", Naimmin reiterated the third time. "...but what if?" Roza implored, her feeble heart disagreeing but accepting the truth in his words. She had been over this, each year, trying harder but coming back weaker. It angered her that this didn't change and it wasn't going to change. 

Naimmin declared he couldn't relate to her and wanted to excuse himself from this play, but, his damaged heart wanted to preach and so he did. " You can't create an unreal world and be disappointed that it is not real. Samina is willing to play along with you and ease you into the impossibilities of your world, but I won't. She might be burdened by the weight of your friendship but I am not. You are not the first in the world to have sorted a sequence for yourself, to be petulant about the "what if", to demand and implore at the same time. You will rise above this, even if you don't want to, one day you will just rise. It won't matter and you wouldn't know why. You just will rise above this. I can't tell you when, but you will. You can't rush into this kid, try as you may."

" What if......" Roza managed to interrupt but gave in. 

That's the thing about a feeble heart, it knocks for strength along the way. Some times it breathes through the strong hold, some times it suffocates. Some times it takes comfort in bleeding and some times it quivers for the gone. 

"Utopia. The Greeks had two meanings for it: eutopos meaning 'the good place' and outopos, meaning 'the place that cannot be." 

- Mad Men