There is a rush in me to shed, shed everything to feel new. While I know it's not the solution, I try with a depleting strength of my belief that it might just work. Sometimes I let it take over and sometimes I win but I know we coexist.
The calm and void around me is disturbing, more disturbing than the irrelevant noise I have been part of. One thing which helps me persist in coherence momentarily is the talk. The talk with her, with him and with the best constants, but its so momentary that I resume my distorted self right after the call. The world around me seemed consuming enough and I made sure of that but in vain.
It makes me wonder about the power of blank. I did have this power in the recent past exactly for a week. It was the underrated time of my life yet significant enough for me to want to go back to it. It had no glories to it, no weights, but yes a sense of being surrounded everywhere. I realize the pressure of being forced to have the sense despite my denial. Now I understand how historically ages have been mapped to reach certain achievable milestones which have now evolved to be false highs and perceived lows.
As I melt at the watch, I wish myself the courage to say what I need to say to seek or give. He has a better vision of the downhill than I, he has the clarity of my impending falls. "Remote" is the most nebulous medium time has ever witnessed and it's so irrespective of the chasm between them and us.
They won't fight you but they want you because you're all they have.
The calm and void around me is disturbing, more disturbing than the irrelevant noise I have been part of. One thing which helps me persist in coherence momentarily is the talk. The talk with her, with him and with the best constants, but its so momentary that I resume my distorted self right after the call. The world around me seemed consuming enough and I made sure of that but in vain.
It makes me wonder about the power of blank. I did have this power in the recent past exactly for a week. It was the underrated time of my life yet significant enough for me to want to go back to it. It had no glories to it, no weights, but yes a sense of being surrounded everywhere. I realize the pressure of being forced to have the sense despite my denial. Now I understand how historically ages have been mapped to reach certain achievable milestones which have now evolved to be false highs and perceived lows.
As I melt at the watch, I wish myself the courage to say what I need to say to seek or give. He has a better vision of the downhill than I, he has the clarity of my impending falls. "Remote" is the most nebulous medium time has ever witnessed and it's so irrespective of the chasm between them and us.
They won't fight you but they want you because you're all they have.
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